Navigating Risk in Life Transitions

Risk is inherent in almost every life transition. Our fears and self-doubt contribute to the chaos that is roiling within us as we enter a new branch of our life pathway. I experienced the specters of doubt as I entered college. Was I smart enough? Disciplined enough? Persistent enough? When I entered pilot training, was I going to learn and develop skills quickly so that I could fly a jet in formation with three other jets with relatively few flying hours of experience? Could I think fast enough to “keep up”? When I left the cockpit and entered the aerospace electronics industry, why would I think that I was competent to speak to trained engineers that were designing leading edge systems about ways that our components and circuits would provide benefits? I had a degree in government and a masters degree in liberal arts. Why? How? What was I thinking?

The experience that was common to every new path that I entered was fear. Fear led to doubt. I had to learn to overcome both. I also learned that doubt and fear arose as I encountered people along my transition pathway that were very successful and articulate. How was I going to communicate with them. I was, in no way, their peer. I learned to swallow my pride over and over. I learned to ask questions. I learned to create clarity regarding areas that I did not understand or in areas where I had previously made mistakes. In pilot training, while leading a four ship formation of T-38’s, I led us through the “wall” of our assigned airspace. I failed the flight. I was on the edge of not completing pilot training…of being “washed out”. The night following the failed flight, I spent the night in the T-38 simulator practicing area orientation by flying on instruments…over and over. No sleep. My thought was that they (my instructors) were going to have to remove me from the cockpit with a crane because I refused to lose. I performed well on my next flight and went on to graduate and win my wings.

Yes, we have fear. We have doubt. We have to choose. Do we succumb or do we make the decision to try again? Do we inculcate and metabolize humility to the extent that we recognize that we are not where we want to be and that we must “course correct”? Do we “press on”  with our questions? Do we try again, perhaps correcting mistakes and experiencing small victories? Do we persist until the small victories, amid smaller mistakes, bring us to the top of the hill?   

Life transitions, human connections, daily small experiences…each requires that we choose. Go or stay? Learn or ignore? Throughout our lives, we must continually make this decision. Dance or not dance? My hope for you is that you will dance.

Safe Harbor Pathways, safeharborpathways.com, is intended to be a safe ground on which you can explore new steps and “learn to dance”.