The Way of Visitors

I began living alone about 28 years ago. Just divorced and having moved to Dallas, I had to adjust to life within the landscapes of what I had previously experienced  in life. I realized that I  had to truly become friends with myself. It was during the first few years of living alone that, as I built friendships and acquaintances, I realized that nobody that I was encountering or that I had ever encountered was even close to being identical to anyone else that I had ever met. From that observation, I developed the EPEB/G concept that defines literally every person that now or has ever existed. Experience in life forms a very significant part our perceptions… of the way we view the world around us. Through the lens of our perceptions, we develop our expectations, both for ourselves and others. We recognize the patterns in life that bring us to create these expectations predicated on what we have witnessed and experienced within our own journey and what we have observed from the journeys of others. When our expectations are formed, we create our boundaries. These boundaries are designed to not only protect us during our life journey, but to inform and guide our moral and spiritual paths. From these expectations, with the experiences and perceptions from which they are formed, we also develop the goals and purposes of our life’s journeys. This flow, Experience, Perceptions, Expectations, Boundaries and Goals, form our individual EPEB/G’s.

My home has been modified to create accessibility for my wheelchair bound life. I have created a comfortable space that readily accommodates and welcomes visitors. I have offered my home to friends and family and have learned that, by sharing my home with others, I have developed a sense of anticipation for having other humans in close proximity for varying lengths of time…from a couple of days to a week or more. When people “sleep over”, we share the evenings and the accompanying yawns that precede sleep to morning yawns over cups of coffee or tea. With close proximity, we each adapt to the presence, mannerisms, conversational styles, humor trigger points and more deep-seated views about the world around us of those with whom we are sharing space.

In order to successfully navigate sharing my home with a variety of personalities and their world views, I have learned to consciously explore the key elements of their lives that have resulted in their individual EPEB/G’s, or at least as much as they are willing to share with me. By learning about how they came to the moments when we are sharing my space, I have become more able to develop our relationships by focusing on the many experiences and ideas that we share and with which we are in sync or agreement. When there are views that I encounter that differ from mine, I have learned to “plow around the stumps”. Through the recognition that no two people on this planet share the same views about every topic, I have come to a phase of my life where I have found peace, happiness and enjoyment in sharing my space with different generations, different experiences in life and different view points.

Safe Harbor Pathways (safeharborpathways.com) exists to recognize, discuss and share our life experiences with the goal of easing transitions in life with which we have had little or no experience. SHP also exists for developing the appreciation that, though each of us is unique with different EPEB/G’s, life can be more rich and fulfilling if we hold out our hands in friendship across the lines of those characteristics that often divide us.

bill@safeharborpathways.com